The Michelangelo Code

I get asked a lot: How can such an overtly and avowedly anti-Homosexual institution like the Catholic Church be so heavily stocked with gays? Simple. If the laity knew that homosexuality was acceptable, then sexually confused young men wouldn’t be driven in to the priesthood. In a shocking parallel, another anti-gay institution, the Republican Party, is discovering its own leadership to have far more San Francisco values than they would like to admit. And despite their best efforts to portray Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) as an abberation, he’s instead looking like a trend.

Craig is really just the bookend to a year of Republican gay scandal that began with former Rep. Mark Foley’s (R-FL) page-o-philia, and was filled with a startlingly constant stream of involuntary outings. Since the GOP Congressional leadership had known of Foley’s recruitment campaigns for some time, they might have done more about it…except that they mode of dealing with it was to tell their staff to do something about it. Problem is that their staffers keep turning out to be gay too. Mike Rodgers, now belatedly famous for outing Craig almost a year ago, has been outing Republican hill staffers since 2004 on his site BlogActive, including ones who served über-gaybashers James Inohofe (R-OK) and Rick Santorum (R-PA).

Rodgers deals deeply in innuendo, which raises many of the same problems as archaeological gaydar: what is the threshhold certifiable gayness? Though rumors have persisted for years, no one has been able to nail Republican National Committee chair Ken Mehlman. The latest targets for involuntary outing-by-unsubstantiated-rumor are Senators Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

It seems GOP election engineering is particular well-suited to the Queer Eye. Now that he’s stepped down, all of a sudden Karl Rove is being linked to the most fabulous of recent White House CallBoy scandals: Jeff Gannon, White House correspondent for Tallon News, a conservative news site nobody’d ever heard of, whose primary job was to lob softball questions at W during press conferences. He was also operating a bunch of male escort services as well, such as www.hotmilitarystud.com and Male Corps [not work safe!]. That’s his ad below [again, Danger, Will Robinson! Not Work Safe]

More so, White House logs show that Gannon checked in numerous evenings and never checked out! Things haven’t changed so much at the newly reformed Talon News. They’re still pushing unsubstantiated hearsay (but it’s clearly different management) and they’re saying Karl Rove had to abandon a sinking White House because he and Gannon had sleepovers in the Buchanan bedroom.

Now I say that Gannon provided the juiciest White House rentboy saga of recent era becauses it pales in comparison with:

and that one is only a poor cousin to the related Boys Town pedophilia/Franklin Credit Union scandal which no one ever heard anything about because Discovery Channel bizarrely backed out of showing Conspiracy of Silence in 1994:

It makes the 1980s seem like such an innocent time, when no one would ever have anything but benevolent notions about a model town for homeless boys run by Catholic priests. Now we’re all like: What did you think would happen?!!!

There does particularly seem to be some sort of homo eroticism in working with young Republicans. Rove was Chairman of College Republicans (he may have stolen that election as well) . And most recently, Glenn Murphy was Chairman of the Young Republicans for like 3 weeks.

Murphy had just been elected at the convention in Florida, took a little vacation with barely closeted govenor Charlie Crist, then returned to Utica, Indiana, where he and a buddy got drunk at party, they slept in the guestroom, and when buddy woke up, Murphy had buddy’s member in his mouth. Buddy filed charges.

Murphy resigned on the lamest excuse. He’s already been airbrushed out GOP history, but that darn Internet just keeps caching all this stuff.

There’s also the Florida state rep who offered an undercover cop $20 if could give him felatio (in a public bathroom, of course), and Rudolf Giuliani’s family priest and employed consultant who ran a pedophilia ring on Long Island.

But here’s maybe the bizarest of all recent scandals: Three men, one of them a top GOP political strategist, al found dead in an apparent murder suicide that’s been described as a lovers’ quarrel. And it only gets weirder when you mix in rent-boys and a gay porn turf war.

Now keep in mind that Republicans don’t actually rely on Jeff Gannon for their news, but they do take in shovelfulls of it from Matt Drudge… and OMG! guess what Mike Rodgers is saying about him.